Living Matters: Bev Cobain Speaks to America's Youth

Bev is no stranger to suicide. Professionally, she helps her patients deal with the devastating effects of mental illness. Personally, she has an all too clear understanding of depression and suicide. Kurt's death wasn't the first suicide in her family, it was the third. She shared, "I watched Kurt's performances, read everything I could get my hands on about him, and talked about him with my family. He exhibited many of the signs of depression and of impending suicide. I feared Kurt was heading for disaster." After his death, Bev was acutely aware of the impact his suicide would have on some of his fans adding, "Kurt was an icon for so many young people, and I was concerned that some of them might relate to his death in the ways they related to his music, his lyrics, and his life style. I believed there was a real possibility that some depressed or suicidal kids might try to end their lives. It's a real phenomenon, called 'contagion.' I knew I wanted to do something."

After Kurt's death Bev talked to some of the psychiatrists she worked with to get information about teen suicide and, much to her dismay, she was told there wasn't much information available to the medical community about the subject. She said, "I couldn't believe it when they told me no one really knew how many kids kill themselves every year. Next, I contacted some national mental health agencies who agreed that there wasn't a lot of information about teen suicides because, until recently, most people didn't understand that kids suffer from depression, too." The facts Bev has learned since, are shocking. She learned that for every completed teen suicide there are 100 to 200 attempted suicides. She also learned that there are 5,000 to 6,000 teen suicides reported in America every year, though most mental health experts suspect that all suicides are under reported, so that the actual number of teen suicides may be much higher. Even so, on average, every 47 seconds a teenager in America attempts suicide and every 80 minutes a teen dies by suicide.

Feeling a huge responsibility to America's youth, Bev uses the Cobain name to reach out and make a connection with kids. Five years ago she applied and was selected to be a trainer of the Living Works suicide intervention protocol for Washington State. Since then, in intensive two-day training sessions, Bev teaches doctors, nurses, school teachers, and anyone else who might be in daily contact with kids, to identify the signs of depression and/or impending suicide, and how to intervene in safe and appropriate ways. She hopes that other states will utilize some form of suicide intervention training, believing that educating those that have close contact with kids helps to prevent youth suicides.

"Immediately following Kurt's suicide," Bev said, "I started to get phone calls at home from kids who were sad, depressed, confused about Kurt's suicide, and who needed someone to help them understand their feelings. I listened, of course, and suggested that they talk with someone whom they trusted: their parents, a teacher, school counselor, or a minister, about what they were feeling. I also wanted to refer them to a printed resource that would give them much needed information about depression, but there really wasn't anything appropriate out there. That's when I decided to write a book for teens about surviving depression and suicide." In 1998 her book, When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens, was published by Free Spirit Publishing, Inc. In the introduction of her book, she shares with the reader, "I believe that whatever you're willing to put up with is exactly what you'll have in your life. Don't put up with depression. Don't let it defeat you. I wrote this book for you--because you're worth it." Bev's book has gained her national notoriety. In recognition of her efforts on behalf of teen depression awareness, Bev received the National Mental Health Association's Green Ribbon Award. Her book is recognized by the American Library Association as well as other national organizations.

Bev makes herself available to community schools and organizations across the nation to discuss depression awareness and suicide prevention. She said, "When I speak to a group of students, I generally start by asking if they know who Kurt Cobain was. Most kids are familiar with his music and his suicide, and that opens the door for my presentation. I like to interact with the kids, so I prefer working right in the classroom with them.

Bev has acted as a media consultant, helping to appropriately depict suicide in media productions and in proposing safe media coverage during the aftermath of public violence or suicide. Active in many organizations, Bev is a member of the American Nurses Association, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the American Association of Suicidology, the Washington State Youth Suicide Prevention Committee, and is a Charter Member of her own county's Kitsap Suicide Prevention Task Force.

Two years ago, Bev quit her full time job, taking what she describes as a leap of faith and has formed a company called, "Living Matters." She wants to provide resources which enhance competency in identifying and supporting young people suffering the pain of depression and/or suicidal thoughts. She hopes to reach more people and make mental health education and suicide prevention her life's work. She continues to travel across the country raising awareness of youth depression and suicide. Bev says, "I am truly blessed. For the first time in my life, it feels like I'm doing what I was put on this earth to do." Living really does matter, and Bev Cobain continues to work in Kurt's memory to help kids.

Note: Readers wishing to contact Bev Cobain with questions or comments are invited to send them by e-mail to Bev@livingmatters.com.

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